Good afternoon everybody!
This one might take you a little longer to read than the previous ones but the idea is super super important and it has been one of the biggest shifts in my thinking.
This tool did for me what no medication could have. It has completely eradicated all the fear I have and it has empowered me to do the things that I love.
So, please take the time to read this one and enjoy the rest of your Saturday!
How I learnt this
Not too long ago, I was feeling super stressed out due to a combination of lots of things to the point where it was having a physiological effect on me. I was unable to take a deep breath and it just became a cycle of the following:
Take a deep breath → nervous system can’t get into a relaxed state → now i’m frustrated that I can’t breathe → I stressed myself out about it even more
Round and round and round for about a month.
I went to the GP because I thought that the Elfbar’s might have finally caught up with me. 😂
The bad news is that he said I was stressed and anxious and suggested I look into getting support or medication. The good news was that the lungs were all good! So, all you vapers out there, you keep going you guys :)
I thought to myself “Fuck that, I do not need medication and I am not stressed and anxious. That’s just not me”
This coincided perfectly with me learning about the power of my self talk with my mindset mentor. He told me to focus on just two things until our next call.
One of them was to focus on my internal dialogue, the voice inside my head that is constantly speaking to all of us. (The other I will speak about tomorrow).
I found that on a daily basis, the majority of my thoughts were ones of doubt or other negative emotions, even though I didn’t realise it. Most peoples inner voices are negative because that is just the way we have developed throughout the years. We go through school being super tough on ourselves, with everyone else pointing out our insecurities imperfections and labelling us.
“The average person has about 60,000 different conscious thoughts throughout their day and 95% of them are the same ones they had yesterday” - Julian Mantle
What to you get out of being negative?
You might be thinking, ‘Charlie, this all sounds very wishy washy, instagram motivation guru David Goggins. Why are you telling me this?’
This rule of positive self talk pre dates all of us and every single successful man and woman in history have used it to their advantage.
“As a man thinketh, so is he” - Proverbs 23:7
The only barriers that we face in life are the ones that we place upon ourselves in our imaginations.
You gain literally nothing by thinking negatively about yourself. So why do it?
Not only that, but you gain ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING by curating a positive self image.
Self Fulfilling Prophecy
For those of you who studied Psychology or Sociology, you will be familiar with the concept of a ‘self fulfilling prophecy’.
This is a concept whereby if a label is attached to you, you begin to internalise the label and believe it to be true. Eventually, you end up becoming exactly what the label said and not because it was true in the first place, but because you believed it to be true.
This is an incredibly powerful framework and if you don’t believe in its existence, I can give you all an example that you will be able to apply immediately.
“I’m not good at …”
Remember in school, we all had that subject that we used to say we were bad at.
For me, I always used to say that I was bad at science. For you, this might have been Maths or English or History.
It doesn’t matter what subject it was. I want you to think about where that idea came from. It might have come from a couple of bad test results in Y7, or maybe even earlier than that. It might have come from a parent, teacher or classmate.
Here’s the crazy part. We all let a simple label dictate our ability at an ENTIRE SUBJECT for our whole education!
Some of you will still believe these truths today. If you tell yourself you’re bad at maths, YOU ARE GOING TO BE BAD AT MATHS.
So, now we know that this law exists, let’s figure out how to use it to our advantage.
How to master it
Now, begin to neutralise the negative thoughts as soon as they pop into your head.
Always switch it up from negative to positive.
At first, you will seem like you are lying to yourself about some things because those beliefs are so engrained into your thinking.
Over time, if you repeatedly shut down the negative labels you attach to yourself, you will begin to replace them with positive ones that eliminate all the barriers you place on yourself.
I promise you will feel so much fucking better for it.
It becomes pretty empowering after a while, and if you practise this for about a month soon you’ll have unwavering belief in yourself that you can achieve absolutely anything you put your mind too.
I sometimes feel cocky or stupidly optimistic about my belief in myself but it has become my superpower.
It has allowed me to go from thinking I am just an average middle class kid to knowing whole heartedly that I am going to significantly change the world for the better.
What can you take from this
To summarise:
Pay attention to the voice in your head
Reject any any negative labels or thoughts
Replace them with positive ones
Repeat this day in and day out for a month
Watch the improvements in your results, your relationships, the quality of your days and your peace of mind.
If you got this far, thank you so much for reading this and trust me on this one, apply these laws to anything in your life and see for yourself!
CM x